Day 133


 Google photos started a new feature a few months back where they show you pictures from your past.  Four years ago today, I had a "Porch Pop-up" for my Lularoe business. I was cute and thinner, and I thought happy.  But I think it was that day that I figured out that it wasn't going to be for me.  I think I had a few sales, but nothing, like I thought, should have been happening.  Needless to say, I stuck it out for a few more months, trying to deny the fact that it wasn't fun and it was a whole lot of work. It wasn't until November of that year that I stopped selling. What I didn't know at the time was that the reason I was losing so much weight and loving my new body in these, what I thought were cute outfits, was that I had cancer.  Cancer was the reason for my weight loss.  So what am I thankful/grateful for on reflecting on this memory?  That I  took a chance.  I stepped out of my comfort zone to try something.  I didn't think I would fail as much as I did but I'm a one-job kind of woman. I don't know how people do all the side hustles.  

Now I'm the heaviest I've ever been and I feel like a failure for that.  I'm counting calories again.  I hate it., But it keeps me in check.  It's funny because that's what I was doing when I lost all that weight while having cancer. *shrug* Pray for me readers....I think I need it.

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