Constant fear....

Today I went to get my chest x-ray to see if my kidney cancer metastasized and traveled to my lungs. Whee? No.

I have been pretty glum about this all weekend. Crying. Yelling, “I’m afraid” and just generally mopey. I know, rationally, I should be fine. But cancer if fucking scary. It looms like a monster under the bed, ready to grab your ankle as you wake up. Ok...maybe not that scary, but it does loom.

Today’s appointment was just annoying. President’s Day is one of those Mondays that I’m off from school. I tried to get a different time, but I was too lazy to call earlier. Maybe it was because I didn’t really want to have my x-ray. So...appointment set from 8:20am. I get there around 8:05, so I can do all the check-in paperwork, etc. 8:20 comes and goes... 8:40 comes and goes... Finally, at 8:58, I asked how much longer, and they checked with the tech and told me a few minutes longer. Another 15 minutes and finally they take me back.

 The room is freezing. Thankfully, I had prepared for the appointment, so I didn’t have to slip a bra off, I wore a sports bra with no plastic or metal. This saves some time. I do two poses, and the tech goes to check the film. The tech isn’t happy, so we take another shot. Whee... I then have to wait for my disc of the films. That didn’t take so long.

 Now I get to wait until next Monday for the results. I love waiting...

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