Posts

Mom...

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Happy birthday, Mom.  I miss you terribly. 

She is always with me.  Little things remind me of her.  Last night there at our dinner theatre we were at a "meet and greet" with some of the cast, and fellow season ticket holders and there is a woman who is older than us that I started to talk with.  She is a piano teacher, 57 years.  She wears these cute matchy skirts, shirts, vests that remind me of mom's fashion sense.  She and her husband attend the symphony, they come to the dinner theatre.  *sigh*  I bet mom and dad would love coming to the Alhambra with us.

In the teacher's lounge, co-workers talk about their parents, and I get a little envious.  I laugh at their stories, nod as they talk about the crazy things their mothers do and wish for my mom's witty, dry comments to keep me in check. 

One more call, one more hug, one more piano duet...I would still want more.

Thoughts and prayers...

Thoughts on getting more people involved in the voting process.
Thoughts on educating people on how to look for facts among the political rhetoric.
Thoughts on spreading more love, less hate.Prayers that people vote out hate and vote in hope.
Prayers that people are open-minded.
Prayers that love conquers hate.

Happy birthday, Dad...

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My parents both passed away in 2010.  Today is my dad's birthday, he would have been 90.  If I close my eyes, I can hear mom singing her "You're much older than I" song that she would taunt him with.  He was 15 days older than her.
I had a full-on break-down last week.  I sat and sobbed because I missed both my parents immensely.  You'd think after nine years I would have a grip on grief, but it comes in waves.  You never move on, it's always there.  You live with it.

My niece posted a video about moving forward with grief recently.  I had seen this video before she posted it, but it was exactly what I needed.

Most days, I'm good.  Then there are those days when you want to be comforted by the people who have shown you love no matter what.  That infused you being with their humor, quirks, and sense of being.

Wish for 2019/2020 School year....

Today I am thinking about the upcoming school year. I know..why would I be doing that while on summer break? I want to put my wish for next year out into the universe.

I wish for the next year that the administration will look at each student as an individual and not a number. That they look at the needs of EACH individual child and not try to lump them together to save money. I know...especially in this budget.

As for the Deaf/Hard of Hearing (DHH) students, that means that one interpreter for multiple students is not suitable for anyone. DHH students have different language needs, and one interpreter can not interpret multiple ways for comprehension during a class. It's physically impossible. Because of the shortfall, the interpreter ends up trying to select a "general" language mode, knowing that some of the students aren't going to understand. It's heartbreaking.

Middle school is hard enough. Going from the comfort of one teacher for most of your day to…

A plan...

I just got home from my appointment with my new endocrinologist.  WOW, that's how I remember a doctor appointment should be.  She took her time with me.  Over an hour appointment and the doctor told me she wished there was more time because she wanted to make sure we clear about the plan moving forward.  I didn't even get this much attention when things were life-threatening.

I'm back on some medication for diabetes as my fasting blood sugars keep going up.  A1C is at 6, so we are going back on Metformin but only 1000 mg total per day.  Also, because my TSH is back up, she is increasing that medication.  My B12 was low, so she wants me to take a supplement for that.  She looked at me and said there was a reason I was having problems getting the weight off, moving, and with fatigue.  It feels good to hear that there are reasons.  As you recall from a previous post, I had problems walking around a hotel, well no freakin' kidding. Now I know why.

Feels fantastic to have a…

Day 1...

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Today, I am rededicating myself to eating healthy and working on losing weight. I weighed myself this morning. I have planned out today's meals. I know that planning will help me control portions and intake.

I will use the two liters of water I need to drink as a way to stave off hunger along with teas.

Tomorrow I go to my new endocrinologist, and I will go with an open mind and be willing and accept what she has to say.

Part of being Jeanne is loving myself, even when I'm obese but not accepting that I have to be a big woman.



Fat...

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Argh!! I'm so tired of this weight.  I'm going to seriously focus on this.

Why is my addition, food?  Why do we need to eat to stay alive? When I quit smoking, I just gave them up, but you can't do that with food.

Last week we went to Dallas for Jerry's work conference.  I was miserable.  I could barely get around.  I was winded after walking from one area of the hotel to another. I didn't want to leave the hotel room to socialize.  My feet swell so much that I can barely get my shoes on, never mind bending down to put them on is a challenge. Seriously, it's bad, and I'm super sad about it.

I'm going to the doctor this week, and I know she is going to yell at me. I had lab work on Saturday, so hopefully, that isn't going wrong too.  I have been doing well.  Argh...

Emotional eating is the worst too.  You eat, then feel bad for eating.

The goal for the week, log my food in my LoseIt app.  Every bite.  EVERY. SINGLE. BITE!